Unsung Legends

Now playing: Earth, Wind and Fire, Reasons (live)
*Singing along with Mr. Bailey* "It's all about looove. It's all about love." So, in this spirit, I've decided to turn over a new leaf. The lovely and sweltering summer weather here in NYC has given me a decidedly warmer approach to humanity. Translation: I think I have been pouring the haterade a little gratuitously recently. I certainly don't want anyone to misinterpret my sarcasm. I do love black people (Most black people. *smirking*) So today on this blog, I want to take a minute to pay some of our unsung heroes a tribute. It's sort of the "Mahogany Elle Legends Ball"... unfortunately, I won't get a chance to sport the Vera Wang as Oprah did (boo...) (Though like a remixed version of Stephanie Mills in the Wiz, I know if I continue to click my heals, the blowuptuate fairy will grace me with my magic Range Rover and glass slippers). Anyways, back to the honorees. Yes, so I'm thinking the celebration will be later this year. There's only one complication. Unfortunately, I'm not sure who these honorees are. I know what they have done, but couldn't pick them out of a lineup if I had to. Perhaps you, friends, bloggers, countrymen, can quell my confusion and crack the case so the invitations can be sent out on time (or at least on C.P.time) ... Thanks.

I've always wanted to know who was the first person to come up with the "rat" tail in the 80's? Who was the first person who sat up in his barber's chair and told Willie the barber, "Nah, man. Don't cut a little patch in the back of my head. I'd like to grow it much longer than the rest of my hair, thereby proclaiming my cool status loudly for all to see, along with my parted eyebrow. " I can't help but wonder how Willie, the middle-aged barber who lived through the Afro and Caesar alike, MLK, JFK, and the Detroit riots, replied. Or maybe he just gave that "I know you're crazy" look that old black men somehow all learn to do the same way. Anyway, if anyone has leads as to this first tail sporter, please inform him that M. Elle would like to bestow upon him the first "I thought up some ridiculous ish and got away with it" award. Thanks.

Who was the guy who engineered the fireworks for Michael Jackson's Pepsi commercial in the 80's? I'm not sure that this guy deserves a legend award in a good way, but quite possibly because C-O-Nspiracy theorist me suspects that this is where Mike first started to go downhill. After that first surgery on his head, which was necessary (and to a little M.Elle quite scary...I thought I would lose my favorite singer!), he caught the operation bug. In the years that would follow, he was back to get his nose chipped away, then hacked off, then the butt chin installed, then the cheekbones chiseled *sniffle*. And suddenly, he looked nothing like the poster with him in the bowtie and yellow sweater that my older cousin had... he looked nothing like the man with glowing socks I so admired. *Mocking Ricky's mom in Boyz in da Hood* "Look at what they did to my boy!". Since I'd rather not blame a man who is currently under so much fire in the courtroom and is quite obviously Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs, I'd prefer to locate said engineer and present him with the second unsung legend award for totally destroying the greatest Moonwalking red jacket wearer ever. Thanks, man. You took my heart and stomped on it, singing "Mama say, mama sah. Mama coo sah". You're a cruel, cruel man. *sniffle*

Who first told Nick Ashford (of Ashford and Simpson) that a long perm was a good idea? Not hating on the brotha at all. Really, I'm not. He and his wife are a wonderful songwriting team that came up with the classic "Solid as a Rock" and my favorite, Diana's version of "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." But everytime I see Nick, I can't help but ask what Valerie said the first time he came home with three feet of unadulterated permed tresses. Call me narrow minded, but that would have been a signal for me to give buddy the walking papers (that and the fact that I spot him with mascara on in photos. Uh...what's really good with that?) I'll say again, I love the fact that they're icons and that they've been together for so long and I'm possibly wrong for saying I'd let a no-lye come between me and my man, but I'm just wondering how she reacted that first time. I'd also like know how he got to be that smooth to pull off the same 'do for thirty years and not blink an eye. That's some cool brotha! The third prize, the "So Talented I can get away with a Diana Ross 'do and no one will blink an eye" award goes to Nick and the mystery hairdresser who convinced him to make that move thirty years ago.

I have more awards to dispense, but seeing as how it is Africa-hot up in here, I'm going to have to hit you up with the second round at a later date. The committee is also taking recipient suggestions, this being a democracy and all, so in the words one rapper, holla back youngins (whoop. whoop.)