Rhythmandwords

Banter on Tulips and a Tribe Called Quest, Jay-Z and John Coltrane, Outkast and Othello.

3.13.2007

She's just Jenny from the Block...

"Don't be mad about the cash that I got
I'm just Jenny from the block.
Used to have a little now I have a lot
But I still know where I came from."
- J. Lo


The clouds have parted. The snow has melted and I am actually coming to believe that spring will actually make it here to Michigan. There is indeed a Balm in Gilead, apparently :) Bossip and YBF are keeping me sane these days as I try to live vicariously through the celebs who have way more interesting lives than I do right about now. I am wading through papers upon reading and more papers. Lawd! But now that I see the sun, I think will try to get crunk ... well as crunk as one might get in the library.

Poring the blogosphere, I envied the D listers who made their way to the Soul Train awards. Yes they were sporting reams of Yakky B weave, and with the notable exception of the fab LeToya Luckett, simply cheap or faux leopard skin dresses that looked like they might have bought them from the same city block stands that sell those velvet Martin Luther King Jr. portraits. But despite the tacky on demand, they had no Contracts to read. No Constitutional law to further confuse themselves with. If I could say that, I might go around looking like "Topsy" too. Lol.

Well I sad to report that amongst the masses was my girl, the oh so fabulous JHud.

*A moment of silence for her departed A-list status*

I scrolled down and saw that not only was she at the Soul Train awards, but she had just been given a free lifetime card to Burger King.

JHud, why oh why? When I read this I first thought, this is simply false. When you are already rolling on double Ds and are a 12+, like JHud you need not publicize your surplus fabulosity to everyone on God's green earth in the guise of free hamburgers. Take it from me! Lol.

But then I thought, I can sit on the couch and think about it or I can help all the curvy girls in the world by taking action. So in the name of Coretta Scott and Maya Angelou and Rosa Parks I have gotten on board that old school bus to equality. I am ringing my grandmother to see if we can helicopter in a quick and easy etiquette class for her. A few highlights from the syllabus....

  • Item #1 ... We do not gobble up our fast food (in public).
  • Item #2 ... We fire PR people who tell us it's appropriate to perform at the Soul Train Awards. To quote the bama-speak of Beyonce, who was conspicuously absent, "You must not know" that is the kiss of death for the A-listers Jenny. You should have known that any event featuring Marques Houston the alien and Omarion as headliners was ... well, I don't think I have to say it.
  • Item #3 ... We do not use poor non-agreeing subjects and verbs in our Oscar acceptance speeches. (We can cry daintily, but not like Big Momma died.)
  • Item #4 ... We do not constantly pose in pictures, and magazine covers with our mouths wide open. You might catch flies, or something else in there.
  • Item #5 ... If Hollywood wants to give us a big movie role, daggone it, we take it. Effie gotta eat!! But pass the crusted salmon, hold the cheeseburgers.

And now I must go assemble my JHud intervention team... Oh, a woman's work is never done. Lol.

5 Comments:

At March 21, 2007 11:33 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello there! Happy to see you're back and in fine form! *mwah!*

A. Love

 
At March 30, 2007 12:17 AM , Blogger The OE said...

I didn't know there were BK lifetime benefits. Is that like frequent flier miles? I seem to accumulate a lot of those. It would be nice to get all those points on my Marriot card.

 
At April 27, 2007 8:02 PM , Blogger Another Conflict Theorist said...

Peace Sis,

LOVE this post. You're a fantastic writer.

BTW, how's school/work going?

 
At July 22, 2007 9:18 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

in addition to what you said about JHud, she needs another item on that syllabus...the word is HONOR as in AWN-NER, not UN-NER!!!

from you sawrah from New Jerz!!

 
At July 22, 2007 9:19 PM , Anonymous k. moore said...

Another item to add to that syllabus for JHUD. The word is HONOR, like AWN-NER, not UN-NER!!!

 

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