Twice Told Tales...

So, one of my favorite shows for the past few years has been UPN’s Half and Half. And, I’ve finally figured out why. It probably has something to do with my being very much like Mona Thorne (creative, independent, sarcastic, music-lover) who very much wants the diva status of a Big Dee Dee (the lights of Broadway, the roar of the crowd, the dazzling marquee LOL) and the future bling potential of a little Dee Dee (Range Rovah, holla if ya hear me!). Anyway, because I apparently didn’t have enough to do at work today, I checked out Mona’s new blog on the UPN site. And funny enough, most of her “100 Things” fit me, though I’ve edited where necessary. Check it out.

1. I am multicultural lingual. (If you can "code switch" as much as I do, you oughta get some recognition, I say. LOL)

2. I consider myself a realist.

3. I was born at 7:34 AM in mid-afternoon after 15 hours of labor. (Yep, I was a fan of C.P.T. even way back in ’79. And still didn’t move until after noon.)

4. I am a classic Scorpio. (Virgo: but the neat freak stuff doesn’t apply. Ask anyone who’s seen my room. But somehow, the hard-working part does. And did I mention that my CDs are neatly lined on my bookcase in alphabetical order?)

5. I value love above all things. Friendship is a close second. (Amen.)

6. I think I'm intelligent.

7. I prefer Africa to Antarctica. I'm talking temperature here.

8. I am drive left-handed. (I think it’s because my ambidextrous father taught me.)

9. I love to eat anything doughy and sugary and processed. Let's face it. I'm American. (As Bell Biv Devoe once said, “Word to the Mutha.” But I've recently developed an affinity for veggie burgers and spinach/ artichoke heart salads. Let's hope it lasts.)

10. I was a latchkey kid of a stay-at-home mother and workaholic dad.

11. I watched waaay too much some TV in my youth, but it was limited pretty much to Cosby, and Different World with some appearances made by the Wonder Years and a few other shows. My parents thought it was generally a brain drain.

12. I love to collect artifacts and knick-knacks from around the world. (I’ve only been to Canada, near Detroit, outside of the U.S. But it’s a goal of mine to travel once I blowuptuate.)

13. I would rather write my thoughts than speak them. (Totally.)

14. I am spiritual.

15. Green used to be my color, now it's purple. (Green still is my color. I have a kelly green cashmere sweater that makes me just so happy.)

16. When I was little I would open an umbrella and jump off the carport pretending to be Mary Poppins. (I would also pretend to be one of the snotty people in The Wiz and once made a Yellow Brick Road out of a roll of paper towel. My mother luckily didn’t spank me.)

17. I also wanted to marry Aquaman. It took me a long time to learn how to swim. I really respect his skills & his rapport with sea life John Travolta from Fame. (So strong, so dashing. So disco. LOL)

18. I hate camping. Wiping with a leaf is just gross…not to mention harsh. (Yeah, I don’t do outside activities in the woods.)

19. I want to climb Manchu Picchu before I die. (See above.)

20. I consider myself bohemian. (Sort of, but not really. I mean, I do have natural hair and tend to be an independent thinker. But there is a latent bourgeois element that always seems to surface. For instance, me and Ann Taylor are like THIS.)

21. I secretly wish I could sing. (I can, but you won’t get me to sing by myself, unless I’m driving solo or at home.)

22. Sometimes I write songs that no one will ever sing…anywhere…ever.

23. People who solicit door-to-door give me the creeps.

24. I used to play the flute trombone. Didn't get a lot of dates with that one. (But, for some reason, reading music fast while playing seemed impossible to me.)

25. My CD collection is enormous. Too many to count. (Like Teddy Riley used to say, “Yep. Yep.”)

26. I love to wear stacks knee-high boots in the fall. (Two pairs are my favorite: one in chocolate suede and another in cognac leather. Both are Anne Klein.)

27. I prefer handmade jewelry. (Or just quality jewelry. There is nothing worse than cheap accessories.)

28. I am truly allergic to morning. (Here, here! Someone feels my pain.)

29. I know how to kill a plant. I have a green thumb. (Who knew Johnny Appleseed had a black sista? LOL)

30. I have favorite artists in just about every genre of music. Except Zydeco year of black music. (On my CD shelf, Jay-Z sits comfortably next to John Coltrane. Down the aisle a bit, the Lost Boyz kick it with Chaka Khan.)

31. I adore [good] cheese. It can be in a can or in the form of a log. (Don’t let me around one of those Hickory Farms trays at Christmas. It’s ovah!)

32. My license plate reads MONAMIA. (“IMTOOFLYFORTHISCOROLLA”… LOL, just kidding.)

33. Without coffee sleep, I am not human.

34. I think press-on jewels are cool. Press-on nails are wrong. (I’m against fakeness in general, except for a masquerade ball. LOL. And glitter and press-on anything is so 1989...)

35. I'm a techno audiophile. (I still own a cassette tape Walkman. And what?!)

36. I'm not afraid to admit that I still pick up Shakespeare and actually read it from time to time. (The bard a merry me maketh.)

37. I also enjoy works by Alice Walker, Hemingway, Ishmael Reed, and John Grisham James Baldwin, Toni Cade Bambara and Saki.

38. In high school I was a band debate/mock trial team geek (who got mad love though. People respected my gangsta! LOL)

39. I would rather die than not VOTE (Too many people died so we could.)

40. I was born in 1977, the same year as Kanye West, Liv Tyler, Laila Ali, Fiona Apple, Orlando Bloom & Darth Vader 1979, the same year as “Off the Wall” by Michael Jackson.

41. I sometimes write poems blogs about my purpose in life and what it all means.

42. I don't like to gamble. I don't get people who do it regularly.

43. I do not iron clothes or make my bed. They're both a huge waste of time. (Totally agree. Anything and everything can unwrinkle itself by the day’s end. And most stuff doesn’t need ironing if you take it out of the dryer right away.)

44. I love playing board games. But I hate to lose. (I’m fierce in Monopoly. Park Place, son!!)

45. When I dance people think I need medical attention. I'll dance till the cows come home, but only after some gentle coaxing. (I tend to not be that first person on the dance floor.)

46. I have a rose tattoo. It's bigger now than when I got it.

47. I used to smoke. It seemed so cool at the time. Now I can't stand the smell.

48. I actually smoked mistletoe once. Don't think I'll do that again, either.

49. I prefer to listen to music on shuffle.

50. I have regretted many of my past relationships. That's why I proceed with caution. (I pretty much proceed with caution in general.)

51. My dream trip is to go to Egypt & Israel Brazil. There's just such incredible history there.

52. I have a fascination with Mr. Potato Head. He is daring, unique & ever evolving.

53. I wish I knew how to play guitar. But I quit after three lessons.

54. I secretly like all things "teen."

55. I adore Hello Kitty. I like to sing the song from “Curious George, the curious little monkeeee!” (The only thing that still bothers me is that we never got to know the Man with the Yellow Hat's name. How come? He was a person too... LOL)

56. I think the sexiest people on the planet are those who don't TRY to be sexy. (Let’s see, Jay-Z, Idris Elba, Barack Obama...)

57. I admire every day people more than celebrities.

58. If I had three wishes the first would be to wish for more wishes. That would take care of the other two… OR I would wish for: No more war… No more disease… and last but not least, a calorie-free, great tasting doughnut. (Or: “Mo money, mo money, mo money” to quote the Wayans brothers. LOL)

59. I hate to disappoint people. Especially family.

60. I often laugh myself awake. It's annoying and pleasant at the same time. (It comes very naturally.)

61. I wore an eye patch as a child. They said it was to strengthen my other eye. I think it was an exercise in humiliation. In seventh grade, I had to quit soccer for a while because my bones were growing too fast and it made it hard to run. Thank goodness it was only temporary.

62. I also wore corrective shoes. (When I was really little… like one or two.)

63. I'm a bit of an insomniac. One I go to sleep, it takes heaven and earth to move me.

64. I live in semi-organized chaos.

65. I hate when others wake me. (Unless it's really nicely. But even then, it had better be for a good reason. *smile*)

66. I prefer flea markets to malls. Bargain shopping is an acquired skill. (Repeat after me, “D-S-W Shoes”… I should have a trophy.)

67. I'd like to be Wonder Woman when I grow up. I mean, who wouldn't want to fight crime in high heel boots? And if I had that body, I'd rock that outfit twenty-four seven.

68. I only know how to cook eggs & pasta. (terriyaki chicken, “black people’s macaroni and cheese” and sweet potato pie. That's it, unless you count whipping up a mean bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch or microwaving Lean Cuisine.)

69. I choose not to wear perfume. I prefer oils. But I do not wear patchouli, as most people assume. I have my own secret blend. (I hate oils, juices and berries and all dat ish. It’s a slippery slope. Once you go that route, then people expect you to start selling them bean pies on the corner. I wear: BCBG Girl in "Nature", which actually doesn’t smell like nature, but has a crisp, clean scent. Also wear Chic by Carolina Herrera.)

70. I'm most inspired by the poetry of Rumi, Nikki Giovanni and Jill Scott. (“I am BAD!” from Ego-Trippin)

71. I'm passionate about knowledge and learning…and cute (smart) men. (Like the deacons say in the Baptist church… “Well, Well!”)

72. I tried to learn Japanese. I cannot speak a word.

73. I'm allergic to lilies. They make life miserable dust, but not a fan of cleaning.

74. I dislike set-ups and blind dates. Especially when my mother is behind them the fact that I apparently have a sign on me that says “Only try to kick it if you have more than one gold tooth and are over 45.”

75. I keep a pair of skinny jeans in my closet to inspire me. They mostly taunt me.

76. I also have a pair of eating pants in the closet. I don't need them, but I'm afraid to give them away. I hate trying on clothes when I have gained winter weight. It’s like the “junk in my trunk” is laughing at me in the mirror.

77. My mother brother knows me better than anyone.

78. I recently have not conquered my fear of horses being drowned at sea. (The ocean roar simultaneously mocks and soothes. LOL)

79. I consider ab workouts a form of torture necessary so I don’t end up looking like Big Momma in her "Sunday Go to Meeting" clothes.

80. I don't run unless I'm being chased. I like to run for no reason at all. (Probably has to do with the fact that I ran track for six years.)

81. It takes exactly one hour and fourteen minutes to blow dry my hair. (Plus 15 minutes. I also resemble a cross between Diana Ross and the Lion King when I'm finished.)

82. My birthday tends to be a disaster ebb and flow. (One year I have a fabulous partay, another, tired from the work week, I sat on the couch and watched TV in my pajamas.)

83. I still listen to "Thriller" once in a while.

84. I secretly wish I could be a gymnast. But as you know by now, I hate exercise.

85. I once found a dust bunny the size of a grapefruit under my bed.

86. Hotel lobby pool crashing is one of my favorite weekend activities. (There is no swankier hangout than the Hudson Hotel, if you ask me.)

87. I love to look through gourmet food magazines home decorating magazines but leave piles of clothes on the floor.

88. I rarely always parallel park successfully. (Only because my left-brain dad taught right-brain me.)

89. One of my ex boyfriends is now my ex girlfriend. Thanks to several surgeries.

90. When I want attention in a bar, I pretend to be Scary Spice.

91. My grandmother is Jewish the boogiest black woman I know. So I get Christmas gifts from Saks Fifth Avenue (like a pumpkin leather wallet) and periodically—with her permission— raid her walk-in closets for items like vintage croc bags.

92. I sing the theme to "Good Times" in the shower. Although I'm not sure if it's 'hangin' in the chow line' or 'hanging and a jivin'. (LOL. It’s the previous. It was on Dave Chappelle. For years, I thought it was “hangin' there alive, yeah!” but a friend informed me that that was “too proper.”)

93. I believe if you eat and no one sees you, the calories shouldn't count.

94. Sometimes I open a bag of pretzels box of cereal and call it dinner.

95. Fall is my favorite time of year. It would be winter, but I don't look good in hats. (Minus the new pret a porter collections and getting to wear camel and pumpkin, I hate fall. It’s the harbringer of more doom and gloom. Counting down the days till spring. And after that, as Jay-Z says, it’s all “For the summah!”)

96. I've had exactly one proposal of marriage. I accepted, then broke things off. Long story.

97. I’m loud snort when I laugh.

98. My first real job was at a churro shack the tennis court in my hometown. (Taking money for court rentals was fine. I wasn’t a big fan of the manual labor part though.)

99. I've been taught that family always comes first.

100. I have more in common with my little sister than I am willing to admit. (I miss her dearly. I love her memories though. I’m also grateful for friends I consider sisters. Shouts out to: S.B., T.B., K.K., L.F., Y.T., N.G., A.H., I.P. and…uh, J. J.W…I know, I know, but you’re honorary *smile*)